hi guys.
Indeed i have been so busy trying to see how much work i could get in before my vacation. its been crazy but worth it.
And so it is that I am in south Africa!!!!!
I almost didn't go because of the heightened security risks (Lucky Dube's death amongst other things), but believe me I am happy to be here.
I arrived R.O Tambo airport aboard a virgin Nigeria flight (not impressive for an international flight and of course I told them so!) and my experience here has been revealing to say the least.
Did i hear you say pictures? you know this trip will not be complete without some! just bear with me till I'm able to upload.
At the airport, there were no surprises until we got to a search point were one of the security agents whispered to a friend of mine that his laptop was supposed to have been declared at customs and that since he did not, he was liable to pay a fine. But wait for this, he will let him go for a token!!!!!!!!!!!
The mora f.....ka wanted a bribe.I was so pissed! In fact i was so freaking pissed. it didn't make sense. In short e no make sense at all.
But i could not help but gloat over the fact that this happened in "the" South Africa!! Imagine that was the welcome somebody got.
PEOPLE BRIBERY OCCURS EVERYWHERE.
Nigeria is not in on it alone. But sha their airport is really nice.
Then more surprises.......
i moved to a bureau de change to change some cash and then this guy and this woman (Nigerians) start telling me how i need to go to the loo and hide my passport and cash under my dress cos there are wolves everywhere,that they are looking at me bla bla blaH!
My first instinct was to suspect the informant.So i ignored them.Suffice to say i arrived at my cousins safely,and its been fun all the way.ill try to keep a diary of sorts here.
its almost 2 am here and im online chatting with my sisters in london and lagos and my brother in abuja.
later folks.!!
Sunday, 11 November 2007
Monday, 24 September 2007
Black magic woman
Being a lawyer has watered down the extrovert in me. Dont ask me why!
Friday night i was off to a live band spot with a colleague and his friend. Dude do i love music!
Anyway,at this joint you can request a song and the band will play it for you for a token.So i asked for black magic woman by Carlos Santana ( i bet most of ya'll dont know this song,its quite old,but if you love music like i do then you should love old music) and that band played it so well.
I saw me on the stage dancing from the depth of my soul,moving to the rhythm of the guitar strings......ah, sweet release!!!
The crowd looking at me ,wishing they were me.i loosen my hair knot and swing my braids and my hips from side to side. Shakira, step aside!!
Oh God, i'm having so much fun,i am the soul of this joint right now......so i yank the mic from the lead singer and finish off the song so nicely i get a standing ovation.
Everyone is shouting my name, de'tente! de'tente!!
Someone's tapping my shoulder.............
Oh men, its my colleague asking if i want another drink, i've been dreaming.i never left my seat!!!
Friday night i was off to a live band spot with a colleague and his friend. Dude do i love music!
Anyway,at this joint you can request a song and the band will play it for you for a token.So i asked for black magic woman by Carlos Santana ( i bet most of ya'll dont know this song,its quite old,but if you love music like i do then you should love old music) and that band played it so well.
I saw me on the stage dancing from the depth of my soul,moving to the rhythm of the guitar strings......ah, sweet release!!!
The crowd looking at me ,wishing they were me.i loosen my hair knot and swing my braids and my hips from side to side. Shakira, step aside!!
Oh God, i'm having so much fun,i am the soul of this joint right now......so i yank the mic from the lead singer and finish off the song so nicely i get a standing ovation.
Everyone is shouting my name, de'tente! de'tente!!
Someone's tapping my shoulder.............
Oh men, its my colleague asking if i want another drink, i've been dreaming.i never left my seat!!!
Wednesday, 5 September 2007
the female brain
Was going through my box the other day and i came across this drawing sent to me by an unrepentant male chauvinist friend of mine. On the one hand, i found it hilarious!!!(really lol now), but on a more serious note..........GUYS, WE DO NOT THINK LIKE THIS!!!!
Friday, 24 August 2007
Budo (Mr Phonetics)
people!!!!!!!!!
i just started french classes and its totally cool not forgetting incredibly sexy!!
'He' speaks French so guess where ill be getting the most practice?(lol)
Anyway's just thought to tell you im fine, really.
My 3 little cousins have come to spend their holidays with me and its been interesting to say the least.
The oldest,oge,is 9 and she's gonna be a beauty queen someday cos she's so beautiful.
Then you have chisom.She's 7 and is my madam cos she drags everthing with me.She wants my bed,my make up,and my hair....(yes.my hair.she insist on trying to weave it at every opportunity!)
BUDO? Well he's 6 and is the main subject of this post.
He came all the way from Lagos to correct my English.
Budo is an old man at heart and he is convinced i have a speech defect when it comes to pronunciation. He believes my oyibo is bad...........very bad.
aunt de'tente, its plismen not policeman'
'its baskit not basket"
So im always like thanks Budo.
I had a good laugh when i asked him to read me a passage from his texbook.Hear him:
Des is an ooorange
This is an orange
Des is a red cep
This is a red cap
Des is a bleck cet
This is a black cat
Des is a smell beg
This is a small bag
Im having tummy trouble from laughing........so i tell him to read it again!!!!!
i just started french classes and its totally cool not forgetting incredibly sexy!!
'He' speaks French so guess where ill be getting the most practice?(lol)
Anyway's just thought to tell you im fine, really.
My 3 little cousins have come to spend their holidays with me and its been interesting to say the least.
The oldest,oge,is 9 and she's gonna be a beauty queen someday cos she's so beautiful.
Then you have chisom.She's 7 and is my madam cos she drags everthing with me.She wants my bed,my make up,and my hair....(yes.my hair.she insist on trying to weave it at every opportunity!)
BUDO? Well he's 6 and is the main subject of this post.
He came all the way from Lagos to correct my English.
Budo is an old man at heart and he is convinced i have a speech defect when it comes to pronunciation. He believes my oyibo is bad...........very bad.
aunt de'tente, its plismen not policeman'
'its baskit not basket"
So im always like thanks Budo.
I had a good laugh when i asked him to read me a passage from his texbook.Hear him:
Des is an ooorange
This is an orange
Des is a red cep
This is a red cap
Des is a bleck cet
This is a black cat
Des is a smell beg
This is a small bag
Im having tummy trouble from laughing........so i tell him to read it again!!!!!
A letter to 'I'.
I met him 4 years ago, in my neighbourhood. We were both members of the British council library as it turned out.
We became friends, good neighbours till i moved to another city and we kind of lost touch.
3 years later, unplanned, by sheer providence, we became neighbours again, in another neighbourhood, and as though predestined, we became colleagues in business.
Friends, the past few days have just drifted past with no substance for me. I cannot think, nor sleep well. I am numb with pain.
Just 3 weeks ago, he called me up, "de-tente", im hungry,lets go grab something to eat". I told him that was one more reason to bring his family over! Anyways i invited him over and we had lunch.
2 weeks ago, we talked extensively about a scholarship i was interested in,relationships,business and even death......
This is to you 'I',
I still cannot believe you are gone
My eyes water as i write this, yet i cannot cry
You were my friend more than ever in recent times
But you never said goodbye
What can take this pain away?
'I' I needed to do this
This has brought forth the tears
They say its good to cry........
Rest in peace dear 'I'
We became friends, good neighbours till i moved to another city and we kind of lost touch.
3 years later, unplanned, by sheer providence, we became neighbours again, in another neighbourhood, and as though predestined, we became colleagues in business.
Friends, the past few days have just drifted past with no substance for me. I cannot think, nor sleep well. I am numb with pain.
Just 3 weeks ago, he called me up, "de-tente", im hungry,lets go grab something to eat". I told him that was one more reason to bring his family over! Anyways i invited him over and we had lunch.
2 weeks ago, we talked extensively about a scholarship i was interested in,relationships,business and even death......
This is to you 'I',
I still cannot believe you are gone
My eyes water as i write this, yet i cannot cry
You were my friend more than ever in recent times
But you never said goodbye
What can take this pain away?
'I' I needed to do this
This has brought forth the tears
They say its good to cry........
Rest in peace dear 'I'
Monday, 13 August 2007
CHINENYE OCHUBA
hi people. you must forgive me for being so NOT here for a while. i assure you it will not happen again.
So whats up with everyone.i hope you all have something good to show for the 7 months(already gone) of this year. Just be thankful regardless ok?!!
I came across my all time favourite most beautiful girl in Nigeria (mbgn)last friday. i thought she had disappeared into oblivion like some other beauty queens but boy, was i so wrong.
I had often wondered where she is , what she's up to and you know generally 'what became of her'.
Well i saw her at the cinema on friday in the company of a friend, and by God, thats one beauty queen that's still a beauty.
I learnt that she resides in london but is currently in naija and works temporarily with an audit firm in lagos.(she's an accountant)
For those of you who dont remember her, she's the teenage beauty that took over from agbani(she was crowned by ann suinner though) in 2002.
She made top ten at the miss world contest and was voted African queen of beauty at miss universe.
For those of you who dont remember her, she's the teenage beauty that took over from agbani(she was crowned by ann suinner though) in 2002.
She made top ten at the miss world contest and was voted African queen of beauty at miss universe.
Tuesday, 8 May 2007
Breasts.....Beautiful.
I grew breasts late and then overtook everyone. Now I am a comfortable 34F.
I remember with nostalgia those days in like SS1.My mother would buy me and my sisters bras. But mine were different, not as fanciful as the others. "Alakpanla’s," (large straps) to be precise. You see, in her wisdom, she knew for me, support was trite.
Story’s different now though. I can get me bras that combine support with fancy.
My breasts, aside from my wit and humor are part of my assets.
My beautiful, firm, breasts!!!
So you can imagine my shock when Americana called to tell me I would have to refund his money for the bras he bought me.
You see, I met this guy about three months ago. His brother my friend introduced us because he felt we would end up two peas in a pod and that it would be a match made in heaven.
Americana and I have been talking, exchanging mails, photos, texts etc but we have not actually seen each other. Call it blind dating.
Honestly it was not deliberate but the pictures I sent him are only of my face.
Actually, em, that’s not entirely true. The reason they are only of my face is I only sent him pictures I downloaded from my phone.
So Americana and I have regular chat sessions. We talk about everything from politics to academics to business to fashion, and then we talk some more. We have even described how we look to each other. My own version of me is that I am slim and tall…….we never got to talk about my jugs.
So Americana is visiting me. We’ll be meeting for the first time.
He’s been shopping for me. Bags, footwear, wrist watches, infact, its like Americana is generous.
And then……he decides to get intimate, so he asks my bra size and I reply with glee (I am an incurably optimistic bra collector) ‘34 F’.
Some guys are not exactly conversant with sizes. So he thought nothing of it. I am quick to add that I love Victoria secret, bravissimo and Rigby & Peller, you know, to mention a few.
So as I said earlier I was shocked when he calls to say I must refund his money.
Our conversation was something like this
A - You lied
Me- Me lie? About what?
A-You must refund my money. That was a silly joke. I know you were just having fun.
Me – (getting Impatient) cut to the chase! I don’t understand
A-you lied about your bra size. You are slim and tall. That can’t be your bra size!
It took me all of 10 seconds to digest this, recover and then it snowballed into humor! I laughed so hard I cried.
Americana can’t believe his luck. Guys come on! Your very own Tyra Banks!!!!
Americana actually consulted his cousin who assured him he probably didn’t “hear” the right size.
So I try to explain to explain to him. You see I am top heavy, but I am slim and tall too (my waist is 26 and my hips 40).
This brings me to what i have been trying to say. I love my body. As a teenager, in my ignorance I did so much to stop my breasts growing (You won’t believe the things I did). With time I grew into my own. I grew to accept my body. I honestly could not wish for a better body. I accept it, I am proud of it and I know this is how God wants me to be.
I love that people stare. I love that my friends want to know what I do to maintain a trim waist.
This is how I love to be.
Americana arrives in a few days. If you are nice, I’ll keep you posted!!
I remember with nostalgia those days in like SS1.My mother would buy me and my sisters bras. But mine were different, not as fanciful as the others. "Alakpanla’s," (large straps) to be precise. You see, in her wisdom, she knew for me, support was trite.
Story’s different now though. I can get me bras that combine support with fancy.
My breasts, aside from my wit and humor are part of my assets.
My beautiful, firm, breasts!!!
So you can imagine my shock when Americana called to tell me I would have to refund his money for the bras he bought me.
You see, I met this guy about three months ago. His brother my friend introduced us because he felt we would end up two peas in a pod and that it would be a match made in heaven.
Americana and I have been talking, exchanging mails, photos, texts etc but we have not actually seen each other. Call it blind dating.
Honestly it was not deliberate but the pictures I sent him are only of my face.
Actually, em, that’s not entirely true. The reason they are only of my face is I only sent him pictures I downloaded from my phone.
So Americana and I have regular chat sessions. We talk about everything from politics to academics to business to fashion, and then we talk some more. We have even described how we look to each other. My own version of me is that I am slim and tall…….we never got to talk about my jugs.
So Americana is visiting me. We’ll be meeting for the first time.
He’s been shopping for me. Bags, footwear, wrist watches, infact, its like Americana is generous.
And then……he decides to get intimate, so he asks my bra size and I reply with glee (I am an incurably optimistic bra collector) ‘34 F’.
Some guys are not exactly conversant with sizes. So he thought nothing of it. I am quick to add that I love Victoria secret, bravissimo and Rigby & Peller, you know, to mention a few.
So as I said earlier I was shocked when he calls to say I must refund his money.
Our conversation was something like this
A - You lied
Me- Me lie? About what?
A-You must refund my money. That was a silly joke. I know you were just having fun.
Me – (getting Impatient) cut to the chase! I don’t understand
A-you lied about your bra size. You are slim and tall. That can’t be your bra size!
It took me all of 10 seconds to digest this, recover and then it snowballed into humor! I laughed so hard I cried.
Americana can’t believe his luck. Guys come on! Your very own Tyra Banks!!!!
Americana actually consulted his cousin who assured him he probably didn’t “hear” the right size.
So I try to explain to explain to him. You see I am top heavy, but I am slim and tall too (my waist is 26 and my hips 40).
This brings me to what i have been trying to say. I love my body. As a teenager, in my ignorance I did so much to stop my breasts growing (You won’t believe the things I did). With time I grew into my own. I grew to accept my body. I honestly could not wish for a better body. I accept it, I am proud of it and I know this is how God wants me to be.
I love that people stare. I love that my friends want to know what I do to maintain a trim waist.
This is how I love to be.
Americana arrives in a few days. If you are nice, I’ll keep you posted!!
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